40 year old gay men

It's best to keep in mind while reading this book that this took place in a time when people didn't come out and let everyone know they were gay. There were many couples that tried to stay married and keep up the facade of marriage. When reading this book, you can feel the anguish and confusion in the wife's mind. There is no doubt that these two loved each other and tried so hard to make things work. But nature had its own ideas. The story is compelling and heartbreaking with a tragic ending. Well written and easy to read.

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I found this carefully crafted book disturbing, for all the reasons you might expect. The view of two such dissimilar personalities, struggling with increasingly intertwined lives, gave me new insight into just how difficult hard choices can be. Though hard to read, it is well worth it and actually is a page turner that will kept me reading late into the night.

While I may have wished for a different resolution for those people, I appreciated the courage it took to write it. An honest, intimate and courageous look into a relationship fraught with conflict and love. A free-spirit man and woman become lovers and devoted parents only to confront inner anguish when one is torn between a traditional home and the rough trade of gay life in New York city. This book is a real page turner! From start to finish I was drawn into this couples story. As a woman of similar age from the suburbs near NYC, it was fascinating to see how this young couple dealt with their marriage and remained together for 40 years Definitely a page turner!

One person found this helpful. My friend and baby boomer contemporary JoAnne Blackwelder recently published a wonderful book-length memoir chronicling her 40 year marriage to a man she gradually came to recognize was gay.

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It's a fast-paced book that unfolds JoAnne's unconventional marital journey -- one that spanned the decades from the '60s up through only a few years ago. A love story, with a difference - a fascinating, mind-expanding, inspiring tale.

Editorial Reviews

Well written, but too heavy on the author's claim of being victimized and trapped when a divorce was a choice that required the unpleasant sacrifice of selling the house, splitting the proceeds and living apart. Neither she nor her husband were honest with themselves or each other.

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Amazon Renewed Refurbished products with a warranty. Amazon Second Chance Pass it on, trade it in, give it a second life. There is a growing body of literature, however, that highlights factors associated with fostering health and well-being and shows how gay men are actively involved in an array of health and illness practices to promote and protect their health and navigate illness. Due to the recognition of resilience as a developing process, research efforts have focused on external protective processes. There is a dearth of research employing qualitative methods to provide nuanced understandings about the unique stressors and life circumstances gay men experience and the protective processes integral to cultivating positive health outcomes over their life span.

In particular, how middle-aged and older gay men develop resilience to promote health and wellness is poorly understood.

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Information pertaining to resilience in this demographic group is needed, given the propensity of chronic illness Conron et al. The investigation reported here was part of a larger study on health and illness practices of gay men. Consequently, discrimination emerged as a risk, and the focus was on identifying protective processes integral to the development of resilience in middle-aged and older gay men.

The specific research question was.

How have middle-aged and older gay men developed resilience over the life course to promote health and wellness? Within these studies, resilience is often examined in relation to the protective processes or factors that can foster positive health outcomes e. Mustanski et al. Another investigation reported that the risk of depression was mitigated among gay men who belonged to a gay community and had strong social ties when compared to those who did not McLaren et al.

Dickinson and Adams demonstrated that resilience processes described as having social connections, engaging in personal reflection, having interests and hobbies, and seeking professional support such as counseling were key factors contributing to mental well-being among gay participants. Similarly, Toro-Alfonso, Varas-Diaz, Andujar-Bello, and Nieves-Rosa showcased the facilitative role of building strong ties within a social support network in mitigating levels of depression within a sample of gay Puerto Rican youth.

Harper and colleagues studied young gay and bisexual men living with HIV and identified resilience processes such as seeking support and providing support to others as integral to developing resilience.

Kushner et al. What is less clear in the literature is a nuanced understanding of how gay men have developed these protective processes, what reinforces these processes, and what creates barriers. Only one published study was found Kushner et al. Men over 40 years experience a marked burden of illness Conron et al. Ultimately, information about how gay men develop resilience and engage in processes to promote and protect their health is needed to inform service development and health provider strategies toward effectually supporting the health of gay men.

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A qualitative descriptive design drawing on grounded theory methods Charmaz, was used. The intention was not to develop a theory of resilience per se, but rather to describe how men, over the life course, developed resilience in the face of discrimination and how this process may have shifted over time. Grounded theory methods were employed to examine these problem-solving practices and processes central to the development of resilience. Charmaz asserts that discovered reality arises from the interactive processes and their temporal and structural contexts.

The study setting was the city of Victoria, British Columbia, the provincial capital situated on Vancouver Island with a population of approximately 85, BC Statistics, The sampling process was aided by several men, connected to networks of other gay men, and who were known to the first author and expressed interest in the project.

These men distributed the recruitment flyer at social, educational, and community-based events. At the outset of the project, men were required to self-identify as gay, be currently residing in Victoria, and be 40 years of age or older.