Where to find gay love

Add to the fact that when we go to gay bars, almost everyone in that room is a possible partner in some way, and our chances are doubled. Additionally, many of us grew up insecure and full of shame, so part of coming out is feeling sexually liberated.

However, we often mistake the ease and casualness of the sex we can, and do have, as something other than what it really is. Sex is great, but sex with substance is harder and harder to come by the more casual we are about this physical act. Continuing the conversation from the last point, we often are beyond indecisive about what it is that we really want. Being gay is confusing.

Once we break the norm, and find comfortability within our own sexuality, everything else is up for debate. Who do we want to be? Who do we want to date? Do we want to get married? Do we want kids? Do we want to be monogamous? Who, if we do meet, we most likely end up sleeping with, and confusing the relationship further. Revert back to points 1 and 2. As gay men we grow up hiding parts of ourselves because gay still is considered different, and in a lot of places, bad. We feel like we have to hide a part of ourselves everyday for many formative years, which means we are neglecting other parts of ourselves that should be receiving precious energy.

So when we finally do come out, we often confuse this as dealing with our issues, when in fact, this is just the beginning to dealing with what our issues really are. Because we held back from being authentically ourselves for most of our adolescence and the beginning of our adult lives, we get a chance to do it all over when we come out. The cherry on top of all of this, is that this usually happens in a big city, or at least some place bigger than the hometown we grew up in, where excess is welcomed. The question is, when is enough enough?


  • 1) Stop Looking for Boyfriends at the Club.
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Gay men are beyond picky, and we feel like we can be because with social media the pool of possibilities feels endless. We are men with egos, and we strive to be the best at everything we do because it was something we learned as closeted children. However, this tends to lead to us having crazy expectations for ourselves, and therefore our mates as well.

Everyone is supposed to look like a model, have an Adonis body, be super successful, like everything we like, and fit the molds we've created that no one can ever actually live up to. Dreamboat is ready. His ego is hurt. Add to the fact that gays often date with the seasons, and half the year is either thought of as warm single, and often slutty season, or as a cold cuddling more relationship based time of the year.

We forget that we are still animals, and like our furry friends, our bodies change with the tides and seasons in a very natural way. However, gay men are quick to use the seasons as an excuse to why we are "allowed" to behave in certain ways. We aren't definitely going to have kids, which is why most heterosexual people start to couple up and settle down.

Find your next partner with us! Once you've completed our personality test, you'll then receive partner matches daily for your review. If and when you do have more time, you can always use our 'Have you met From sending the first messages to getting ready for your first date, we here to help get your love life off the ground.

The trick is to think outside of the box.

Enter EliteSingles. Catering for professional men seeking men, our membership base includes many eligible gay singles who are both mature and highly-educated. Sound like you? You're in the right place to meet a like-minded community of open online dating users! Rest assured, there are plenty of men seeking men just like you out there, who long for a lasting relationship too - we can help you find them, and strike up a chat. Do you want to meet single men with whom you are truly compatible? Then join EliteSingles today.

Our service is likewise streamlined: That means that your precious free time can be spent on the fun part of online dating — the dates themselves! We streamline our matchmaking process by getting to know the real you via our in-depth personality test. Based on the Five Factor model theory by McCrae and Costa, this test forms the backbone of the EliteSingles experience and the basis of our smart matchmaking. This free test allows us to analyze your levels of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism.

Some may recoil at this suggestion, but guess what? Many partnered men have reported meeting their husband at their local gay-friendly church or spiritual center. There are a lot of gay men who are deeply spiritual—and not just the bat-crap, self-loathing types that we often hear about, either. If you have a local place of worship or other community-based venue for spirituality and you identify with what is offered, why not give it a try?

More and more, religious organizations are recognizing that LGBT folks have spiritual needs. If you are one of those people who are not sure what you believe in, consider taking the Belief-o-Matic self-assessment.

Searching for love in the age of online gay-dating

Did you know there are gay communities of Agnostics, Quakers, Pagans, Humanists, and so forth? There sure are! And there are gay atheists who congregate, as well. Take the self-assessment to see where you fit in.

7 Places to Find Your Next Boyfriend That Are Not a Bar

Obviously, going to a local gay-friendly church or spiritual center should be about your spiritual nourishment and well-being. Think about this first before you decide which venue for spirituality is best for you. The dream that one day, you will meet the guy of your dreams is a wonderful thing to dream about. But fantasizing and doing something to make it happen are two different things. If you want to meet your next boyfriend, then you will have to take control of the process.

The Promethean spark of love only happens if there are two available people who happen to be at the right place at the right time. Why not try something new? Tomorrow could be a great day! Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

I am very much interested to know you and hopefully become your friend. I have nothing much to say but i know how you feel. And i understand where you're coming from. I hope this simple message of mine will touch your loving heart.

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How to Find a Boyfriend When You Are Gay: 5 Useful Tips for Getting With a Decent Guy | PairedLife

Its really hard and difficult to find people you want to share your heart and soul these days, but who knows.. I still believe that somewhere there.. God bless. Thanks CBJ. It seems that the search for love knows no boundaries.